People around me are feeling discouraged. sad. alone. like the outcast.


What is there that we as friends can do to help? take sticks to everyone or everything that stands in our way and beat it into submission? Kill it with kindness. Bury our sorrows in a night on the town getting drunk and doing things that we may regret or people may use to make snyde remarks and try to belittle us? NAH.

Stand up for what YOU believe in. Don't let people get you down. Everyone has people in their life that aren't worth the trouble. seriously. you have other friends. you have other people that will stand beside you no matter what mistakes you happen to make big or small. Trust me. I have made more mistakes or wrong choices. than any two people put together. People change things change. and no matter what. you will always be you. Thinking about this i make no sense. but i am going to keep typing anyways.

I may be transferring stores to moscow. I am going to apply for the outside sales position with fastenal. If that happens this store down here will be hiring. Looking for someone with strong interpersonal skills and a good work ethic. (what i do is not hard work by any means) that is all about that.


Gypsy is going well. it is fun to work with people i havent worked with in a while. maybe some friendships will rekindle with this show.

well, seeing as how there is no real point to this post i am leaving. to maybe do some actuall work. but probably not.

Goodnight neverland.

I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT.:> that is the big one. i am finally getting settled into amanda's and my apartment. we will probably have a little get together when we are settled to go ahead and let people know where we live and what we have done with the place and whatnot. work is going well. i have a lot of stuff to do to try to get the shop to where it needs to be to do the amount of business we are planning on doing in the next six months. just a figure. right now we are doing around 50 thousand dollars in business a month. well in the next six months we are projecting anywhere from 100 thousand to 150 thousand dollars in sales a month. so that will be nice.. this last month we had about 49 thousand in sales and my commission check is kafrickin awesome. i have never had this much money in my account at any given time. :> so yes. i am liking it very much. just a small little note. i really do miss a lot of you. if you read this chances are you are probably one of those people. but if you are a select few. i could care less if you read this or i ever see you again... so with that said i hope everyone is doing well. cats is going great. lots of dancing and whatnot that i dont have to do. ok i am off of here. i am going to go set up my computer room. peace out. and much loves. take care. and help control the pet population, have your household pet spaid or nudered.

goodnight las vegas

i got the job. i start this next wednesday. working for fastenal. making $2000 a month salary and comission. i am frickin excited. and i am out. peace. i cant just sit here with this news

i broke down at work. i was fine and all of a sudden just couldn't take anything anymore. started crying. and said i had gotten something in my eye. i don't like it at all. the front i put on to make it seem like everything is exactly the way i want it isn't holding up. The ONE thing i want i should not and will not put through the hell of me. i won't drag it down when it can do so much better without me. i fucked up. it was my fault. every last bit of it. everything that was ever broken. everything that could have been fixed with the right amount of glue and some time. i just couldn't wait. it is like when you are painting a model. you just put the last coat of paint on and perfection is only an hour away. all you have to do is wait. not only for that hour. but maybe an hour and a half. but you try to take a shortcut. (put a fan on it) maybe it will dry faster? 45 minutes pass and your impatient self can't help but to touch it to see if it is dry. you do. not in a spot that could easily be touched up. but right in the middle of the hood. it is ruined. you didn't wait long enough and now you have wasted all of your hard work and efforts just to get the instant satisfaction that would be finishing the model. that is me. the ever so eager one to just get it done. don't wait it will all be right. time fixes everything? no, time can only make some things worse. if it isnt taken care of. then what will we do with the ever-strengthening bond of what time makes worse? if the flaws and the characteristics most noticable and vivid to the imagination are not fixed or mended. the final product will be as tainted as the unfinished product. i screwed up. i didn't fix the flaws or mend the breaks in the heart and soul of the model. i thought the ever so gracious touch of a fine toothed brush would wipe away or cover the flaws. it didn't. after screwing up so bad. and letting time set in and harden the paintjob that i was too stubborn to do right the first time. the only thing to do is start over. with everything. wash the paintbrush. blow off the workspace. strip the model down to the bare skeletal existance is was when i first got it. then start over,. now is to hope that the model will let me try to fix it.? is there anything i can do to maybe smoothe out the rough edges? yes. but if the model like any human being doesn't want you to fix it or help it. it won't. you will break through the moldings and put a hole in the model. and i fear that is what i have done. not only have i put a hole in the model. i have created an emptiness inside myself that knows no boundary and feels as though it will consume me until i have no chance, no hope, nor will-power to pull through. i only have one thing that i can really do. nothing.

first off. leave my page alone. stop messing with the settings and just stay out of it.
second off. never leave me a drunken message again. i will take care of it in a not so nice way next time.
third off. if you are going to turn my so called friends against me. do it. i care but i dont care.
fourth off. if you and steve are going to have sex and he isnt going to tell me about it then so be it. rub it in my face do whatever you want about it. but pretending like you know exactly what i do and exactly who i am is selfish and b.s. a week. one week after we were completely done. and you and steve sleep together. wow. and you are being pissy and bitching to me because i have a girlfriend? whom i get along with fantastically. who doesnt try to change me. doesnt get mad if i dont have anything to talk about at that moment. doesnt get mad if i say something a little crude or whatever. then ok. get mad. go ahead. leave messages on my phone if you must. but if you are drunk while doing it then you better think twice. I thought when we split up that we were going to be friends. i was evidentally wrong. you block me erase me. ignore me and when i was trying to be civil you were a straight up bitch. i dont like it. people may not like me. but i am trying to change. and at this point i am looking to possibilities that most would advise against. but it is the only way i am seeing that i can pay for college. or get a good education. or get out of this valley. and make something of myself. NO ONE knows my whole past nor will they ever. i am not willing to let anyone in that far. and until anyone fully understands my past then they will not fully understand me. but until you are able to let go of the fact that you decided to do something that you may or may not regret. you will be a cynical bitch. good day

so it is official. she hates me. i am no longer a friend evidentally. so that is all.

in other news i got hit in the head by massive hail.

okie. we be wanting to have a guys poker night... not sure where or when. but definetely tonight.. because that would be awesome. it has been a long time since we have sat around just the guys and played poker. buy in or no? 5 dollars? we shall discuss in more depth later. but steve and i want to play some poker.

for those of you who don't know dale is leaving us. and will be moving to seattle with pandora and whatnot.. he has asked that we meet him for coffee or whatever at shari's around 8 or 830 on saturday.. tomorrow.. the 15th.. p.m. this would be very special to him if we were to do this.. so please try to take time out of your busy schedules and say goodbye to a great friend. comment here if you need a ride or something.

tonihgt there shall be a game night at steve's house tonight starting around 8ish bring games and snacks as well as drinks and whatnot. it shall be a dandy ole time and fun as well. so yes. give steve or myself a call if you need directions. rides can be given to those who need it for a small fee.:>

Cast List
"Into the Woods"
Narrator/ Mysterious Man Torry Lewis

Cinderella Connie Evans

Jack Mason Littell

Jack’s Mother Joanna McFarland

Baker Rod Farrington

Baker’s Wife Kelsey Kegel

Cinderella’s Stepmother Judi Hanley

Florinda Cathy Jo Morgan

Lucinda Amber Hanley

Cinderella’s Father Jim Stutzman

Little Red Ridinghood Taylor Allen

Witch Chrissy Cox

Rapunzel Amanda Strong

Rapunzel’s Prince Terry Settles

Cinderella’s Prince/ Wolf Jeremy Marcott

Steward Austin Nichols

Snow White Gabi Garcia

Sleeping Beauty Beth Man

Cinderella’s Mother, Granny, Giant Jennifer Opdahl